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Confused and hesitant...
I am a bit hesitant to post this here as I may unintentionally cause someone to think that I am trying to play a prank, but I am in need of assistance (at your own convenience of course) with a problem. I would like to make it perfectly clear that I am not trying to "pretend" to need help, nor do I think I am "other-worldly". I know and respect the fact that I am human just as I respect the fact that many of you on here are something much more special than I, but be that as it may I still plead for your help and understanding.
I am a twenty year old female and I have a mentality and protectiveness about me, and have for some time now, that my friends have pointed out to me as "strange" and have called my so-called behavioral problems "weird". I love being under the moon and in the night, I protect those that I view as "mine", even going so far as to snap at someone when I believe they are trying to control them. I have a patience that many have gawked at when I learn of a problem and a temper so terrifying that at times I scare older men and have had several tell me that my hazel (or mood eyes, whichever you prefer) eyes have changed to a golden or black color and that I have snarled at them and look either feral or demonic. Animals, dogs and horses especially, come near me when they wouldn't go near normal people and I tend to have a more "dominating" stance when my friends are around me. When I was younger, I often got dragged into my friends fights because I was stronger than they were, and by stronger I mean that at five and standing at four feet I could cause a ten year old boy who stood a full foot taller than me to fall flat on his back with a well placed punch to his stomach.
I have recently had a dream that I don't remember the contents of, but the colors are still vivid: Blood red, gold, green, and blue. I had one just the other night that was a door, and when I opened it there was a giant golden eye with small lines of green around it staring at me, and I stared back at it.
Please, I beg of you, help me to understand. Even if you want to call me a human with a mental problem would be better than dealing with the constant questioning of myself and my mind. Please, tell me what you think. I am not a "poser", nor am I attempting to make your life and your struggles meaningless... I am merely at a loss for answers and wish to know something... anything... And whereas I know that some would tell me “it’s better not to know”, I am curious by nature and this is all starting to even affect my sleep.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
Sincerely,
Moonlightwalker-1990
I am a twenty year old female and I have a mentality and protectiveness about me, and have for some time now, that my friends have pointed out to me as "strange" and have called my so-called behavioral problems "weird". I love being under the moon and in the night, I protect those that I view as "mine", even going so far as to snap at someone when I believe they are trying to control them. I have a patience that many have gawked at when I learn of a problem and a temper so terrifying that at times I scare older men and have had several tell me that my hazel (or mood eyes, whichever you prefer) eyes have changed to a golden or black color and that I have snarled at them and look either feral or demonic. Animals, dogs and horses especially, come near me when they wouldn't go near normal people and I tend to have a more "dominating" stance when my friends are around me. When I was younger, I often got dragged into my friends fights because I was stronger than they were, and by stronger I mean that at five and standing at four feet I could cause a ten year old boy who stood a full foot taller than me to fall flat on his back with a well placed punch to his stomach.
I have recently had a dream that I don't remember the contents of, but the colors are still vivid: Blood red, gold, green, and blue. I had one just the other night that was a door, and when I opened it there was a giant golden eye with small lines of green around it staring at me, and I stared back at it.
Please, I beg of you, help me to understand. Even if you want to call me a human with a mental problem would be better than dealing with the constant questioning of myself and my mind. Please, tell me what you think. I am not a "poser", nor am I attempting to make your life and your struggles meaningless... I am merely at a loss for answers and wish to know something... anything... And whereas I know that some would tell me “it’s better not to know”, I am curious by nature and this is all starting to even affect my sleep.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
Sincerely,
Moonlightwalker-1990
Tags: Confused, dreams, help, hesitant
Views: 5
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by xXxSamie SicknessxXx on -
i really dont know what to tell you. To tell you the truth, and i dont mean this in a bad way tho thats how it sounds, your acting like a dog. im aware that sounds bad but its not how it sounds. im just saying with the growling and domination thing. maybe you ARE crazy, maybe not, but I dont think your going to get answers here. a lot of people here dont know what they are talking about and will instantly assume "werewolf" to this then some crazy idea of how it happens and why. My guess would be to see a doctor or something first, or something, THEN ask around cuz people are crazy here. i hope i have been of some assistance. :)
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Permalink Reply by Moonlightwalker-1990 on -
You have been and I appreciate your honesty :). But my reason for posting this is that I actually have seen a psychologist about this and he couldn't come up with anything and told me I wasn't crazy... I probably should have posted that in my explenation...meh, I don't know anymore lol but I thank you for your advice and for not being rude about it :)
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Permalink Reply by xXxSamie SicknessxXx on
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your welcome. and besides, i was raised NOT to be mean to someone asking for help. ^-^
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Permalink Reply by Crixm on -
My boyfriend has such eyes, he apparently has what even he might call nightmares very frequently, and him and I are each others' alone. He has difficulty sleeping away from me, and he claims such deathly stares as you have suggested. It makes me wonder however, why you post it here, where so many indeed are posers among the few who are different. I hate that 'it is better not to know' mentality. I feel a need to know relevance that pertains to me. You might be more than you assume, but seem to have no one to help you understand. Sometimes I wish I had known an elder the rare time I had the chance. I might have been of more assistance.
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Permalink Reply by Byron morgue on -
Well to me it sounds like a human with sort of a different energy. Try developing that energy.
Hope I helped.
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Permalink Reply by Moonlightwalker-1990 on
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I'm not really sure how to... It's embarrassing to admit, but there it is. I wouldn't even know where to start with your or Zachary's suggestion...
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