I am a bit hesitant to post this here as I may unintentionally cause someone to think that I am trying to play a prank, but I am in need of assistance (at your own convenience of course) with a problem. I would like to make it perfectly clear that I am not trying to "pretend" to need help, nor do I think I am "other-worldly". I know and respect the fact that I am human just as I respect the fact that many of you on here are something much more special than I, but be that as it may I still plead for your help and understanding.
I am a twenty year old female and I have a mentality and protectiveness about me, and have for some time now, that my friends have pointed out to me as "strange" and have called my so-called behavioral problems "weird". I love being under the moon and in the night, I protect those that I view as "mine", even going so far as to snap at someone when I believe they are trying to control them. I have a patience that many have gawked at when I learn of a problem and a temper so terrifying that at times I scare older men and have had several tell me that my hazel (or mood eyes, whichever you prefer) eyes have changed to a golden or black color and that I have snarled at them and look either feral or demonic. Animals, dogs and horses especially, come near me when they wouldn't go near normal people and I tend to have a more "dominating" stance when my friends are around me. When I was younger, I often got dragged into my friends fights because I was stronger than they were, and by stronger I mean that at five and standing at four feet I could cause a ten year old boy who stood a full foot taller than me to fall flat on his back with a well placed punch to his stomach.
I have recently had a dream that I don't remember the contents of, but the colors are still vivid: Blood red, gold, green, and blue. I had one just the other night that was a door, and when I opened it there was a giant golden eye with small lines of green around it staring at me, and I stared back at it.
Please, I beg of you, help me to understand. Even if you want to call me a human with a mental problem would be better than dealing with the constant questioning of myself and my mind. Please, tell me what you think. I am not a "poser", nor am I attempting to make your life and your struggles meaningless... I am merely at a loss for answers and wish to know something... anything... And whereas I know that some would tell me “it’s better not to know”, I am curious by nature and this is all starting to even affect my sleep.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!