constructive criticism needed for this song!!! be as mean and crucial as you want!

it doesnt have any music to it or anything yet. i only wrote it tonight. so just use any music you think would sound good and then tell me! all info. and advice needed! or you could just read it as a poem. ur pick. doesnt matter. tell me which way you like it better though!
thanks!

Butterflies

I hear your voice on the other end of the line
My heart starts pounding
You say hey
And I become breathless
You ask me what’s wrong
I give a breathy laugh

You turn on your TV
You see the news
You tell me it’s going to be all right
And I completely break down

(chorus)
The butterflies in my stomach are threatening to spill out
And even in these troubled times
I can count on you to make the bad feeling go away
You take my mind away
Even if for only a few seconds
And the butterflies push harder

We talk and talk
Till all my fears go away
And even though I’ll never be all right again
You make me feel loved and safe

(chorus)
And the butterflies are still threatening to come out
And even in these horrible times
I still feel alright
While you make the bad feelings disappear
And I feel instantly better
Knowing that someone cares for me
And that you make the butterflies
Even more insistent

And as we say goodnight
You tell me sweet dreams
And I know I’ll always feel alright

Even if the butterflies are trying to pour out of me like a fountain
I know that I can trust in you
To make me feel safe
And then the butterflies go away


sorry for not mentioning what the news was...but i wanted to leave it up to wandering minds...give them something more to think about while listening to it. not only wonder what the whole thing is about or who it might have by inspired from. so pick anything you want it to be. it can be something that has happened to you at any time in your life...and it doesnt have to have been mentioned on tv or anything. but if i hadnt done the whole news thing..then i would have had to explain what had gone wrong and the whole 'leave it up to wandering minds' thing wouldnt have worked. or it can just be the most horrible thing you can think of. it doesnt even have to have happened to you. any typed of tragedy will work!