vampire fairy twilight goth emo punk sk8er meeting place
How I knew I was different.
I will give you no rhyme or reason, only why I have always believed I was a Wolf-Therian. You may find the way I describe myself is rather in descriptive because after ready many posts, I can see that if I describe myself anyone who thinks they resemble me in some manner will think they are such.
I was born of a Norwegian Fisherman, and English School teacher, my father was very deep into his Norse heritage, I grew up hearing stories of vikings and such, and during my life came to idolize them. I always wanted to look like one, and my wish came true as I began to age and grow, I was 6 foot tall, by the time I was in my 5th year of schooling. I was never a bully, even though I easily could of been. We came to England, after an accident while fishing left my father unable to work, my mother continued to teach. I noticed that people were easily frightened of me, I could walk into a room angry and it would fall into silence, I found myself fighting often, never out of enjoyment, but out of being attacked, someone always found a reason to persecute me, I was never one to throw the first punch, and when I did fight back, I would black out, and I would have to wait until someone else told me what had happened. I was suspended many times, it gave my parents hell, and sadly, it left so much to explain, may questions that leave me, still to the day, flabbergasted. I was always a source of gossip, being a devil worshiper, or something of that ilk, or that I took steroids and that is why I was so big, innocent things, I thought. As I reached what is the equivalent to high school things became worse and I realized, I was different, I never had to study, I never had to even open the books, I just knew it. During this time, I never really had a close friend, except for Christy, she, well, was my rock I guess, she was the one person who I could and can say anything to, and she will take it as the truth. As much as I would like to say that I have extreme body/facial hair (I do) and exceptionally long canines, I do not. This is more about psychologically, I noticed earlier on, that my perception of the world was different, that there was more to me then I had thought, I struggled with the idea when I first discovered it, and then it began to play out, or fit into place. Most notable, was the black outs, when fighting mind you, where I would not remember anything. It made me feel as though the animal inside me was taking over, though it has happened in other areas of my life, this is most notable. I have always been a daredevil, I guess, I have never been majorly sick (Other then having a few teeth removed), I am a very rapid healer, I recently broke my foot in half (My toes were touching the bottom of my heel, within hours after they rebroke and set it (Only an hour or so after I had broken it) I was walking on it again with no pain. I have almost cut fingers off, and whacked myself with an axe many times while chopping fire wood, and do not have a single scar as proof. In reality, I may only be a simple human, who is only lucky, but I believe there is some other reason.
I thank you for reading and paying attention.
I was born of a Norwegian Fisherman, and English School teacher, my father was very deep into his Norse heritage, I grew up hearing stories of vikings and such, and during my life came to idolize them. I always wanted to look like one, and my wish came true as I began to age and grow, I was 6 foot tall, by the time I was in my 5th year of schooling. I was never a bully, even though I easily could of been. We came to England, after an accident while fishing left my father unable to work, my mother continued to teach. I noticed that people were easily frightened of me, I could walk into a room angry and it would fall into silence, I found myself fighting often, never out of enjoyment, but out of being attacked, someone always found a reason to persecute me, I was never one to throw the first punch, and when I did fight back, I would black out, and I would have to wait until someone else told me what had happened. I was suspended many times, it gave my parents hell, and sadly, it left so much to explain, may questions that leave me, still to the day, flabbergasted. I was always a source of gossip, being a devil worshiper, or something of that ilk, or that I took steroids and that is why I was so big, innocent things, I thought. As I reached what is the equivalent to high school things became worse and I realized, I was different, I never had to study, I never had to even open the books, I just knew it. During this time, I never really had a close friend, except for Christy, she, well, was my rock I guess, she was the one person who I could and can say anything to, and she will take it as the truth. As much as I would like to say that I have extreme body/facial hair (I do) and exceptionally long canines, I do not. This is more about psychologically, I noticed earlier on, that my perception of the world was different, that there was more to me then I had thought, I struggled with the idea when I first discovered it, and then it began to play out, or fit into place. Most notable, was the black outs, when fighting mind you, where I would not remember anything. It made me feel as though the animal inside me was taking over, though it has happened in other areas of my life, this is most notable. I have always been a daredevil, I guess, I have never been majorly sick (Other then having a few teeth removed), I am a very rapid healer, I recently broke my foot in half (My toes were touching the bottom of my heel, within hours after they rebroke and set it (Only an hour or so after I had broken it) I was walking on it again with no pain. I have almost cut fingers off, and whacked myself with an axe many times while chopping fire wood, and do not have a single scar as proof. In reality, I may only be a simple human, who is only lucky, but I believe there is some other reason.
I thank you for reading and paying attention.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by SPyke on -
Eh yah. I am also taller than usual, (6ft tall (1.8m) and female) but i blame that on a healthy dose of Danish genes on my mom's side. With all that viking blood runnning not only pure through her father, but diluted through centuries of English and lowland scots ancestry, it's little surpise. I sort of fall into the "other" of otherkin. I know I said "I am a wereweasel", but that was a joke on myself and the guardian animal totem of my inner stuff.
I also barely cracked a book durning my lovely pre-mjority government funded 12 year stretch of "education" but do you blame me? I have a tested IQ of 146. I was literally the poster child for the reason why accelerated students should not be included in normal classrooms, but should also not be skipped grades. I have three undergrad degrees, an acociates in IT, and a bachelor's in both Music and Game design (that's music AND graphic arts with a twist) AND I still managed to have my physical geography teacher (this is a science class rather than standard geography) pull me aside and beg me to join his department and change my major. Why? Because I had never taken the class before, never bought the book, never studied, never took notes, and still passed his course with the equivalent of an "A" while 60% of the class proceeded to fail it miserably.
I just know stuff. lol. same as you.
and also, same as you, I have lots of luck when it comes to injuries. I have never broken a single bone in my entire life, and I did some crazy stuff as a kid, like running BMX courses on a ten speed with no helmet. An never once crashing. And free climing. and jumping off the roof, tree, fence, treehouse onto a trampoline as well as jumping ONTO said roof from said trampoline. AND done acrobatics. off of not only said trampoline, but olympic highdives and cliffs. I used to stun my friends by leaping down stairs a flight at a time with no worries. I have been caught in rip currents, I have Never severely injured but once when I stepped on something running barefoot in floodwaters. Just a lot of crazy stuff.
.
I totally understand about blacking out when enraged. lots of people do that, and if you put out a strong energy of assertive anger and you walk into a room, anyone can sense your energy and be wary of you. If you do that frequently, people remember. Humans are subconciously attuned to the energy of their fellow humans. On the thought of being attacked, yeah. People are stupid. they like to pick on outliers. they pick on the smart ones because they are jealous, and the dumb ones becasue they feel superior to them. They haze the physically weaker because they can and they challenge the stronger to test their own abilities. People like to make other people angry. I have come to the conclusion that humanity likes to torture itself by pressing the "angry" button and seeing what happens. That's actually a problem that can be corrected. Besides, when getting in a fight, I find that cool and calculated is not only better for me, but also scarier. Just trust me when I say that you are not the only human being out there that has been targeted as someone worth fighting.
It's just more social darwinism B.S. personal interaction with human beings does what is impossible with eugenics, mostly because eugenics is abhorrent to the average human. It makes mediocrrity praisable and desireable. move the social outliers, the weak, the tall, the short, the dumb, the silly, the smart, the ugly, the fat, the people with funny accents or strange walks, move them to the social fringe, while the masses praisse the majority of unremarkable people and put on a pedestal the pretty, for as long as they remain so, and the strong, as long as they remain unchallenged, and the genius as long as they are actively doing things that make people's lives easier. Also, along with that push to the fringe, most people see things differently once they break out of the herd.
ANNND guys, body hair is normal. sorry. It is a fact of life that some guys will be able to grow a mustache by 16 and others can only scrape a few straggleing hairs at the age of thirty. Unfortunately the wolf therian thing, you know old werewolves were always viewed as creatures of evil and chaos because of their connection to Fenris. I am only saying that due to your connection to nordic tradition. That will get me in trouble around here, but I was surprised you leaped to "wolf" as your therian type, considering. Although it would explain why people thought of your as satanic. .
-
Permalink Reply by Sarah on -
i can also relate completely to what both you and SPyke have talked about here. i was always smarter than the other kids. i was always an outcast because i didnt care about who was "cool" and who wasnt. i was concerned with who was "nice". im not tall, but i was always the strongest girl in my class. actually if im being honest...i could whoop the majority of the boys too. and i did. daily. i was an aggressive kid though. i did not tolerate people being rude and making fun of me...or my friends. if they did, they ate my fist, and never did it again. the school wanted to skip me grades when i was little...my parents didnt allow that because i was already the youngest person in my class. so the teachers just gave me advanced work. never did homework, rarely studied...aced all my tests. i procrastinated all the time with projects too, but i always seemed to work better under pressure so it worked out for me.
people have always been afraid of me too. in high school i had a lot of people tell me that when they first met me they thought i would kill them if they looked at me the wrong way...lol. but after they got to know me...they saw that i was actually a nice person. i guess i've always just had something about me that intimidated others.
and i STILL blackout when im enraged. i also dont remember what happens. and i feel that whole sensation of feeling like an animal has taken over. or "the beast" as i affectionately call it. my shrink actually explained to me why that happens and its to do with the systems in the brain. when you are in "panic" or "anxiety" mode, as most people would be if attacked or in some sort of fight...your limbic system sort of takes over. thats the system that causes the "fight or flight" response. the "grey matter" surrounding the limbic system is what contributes to rational thinking and it sort of gets overshadowed by your limbic system. specifically the amygdala, which is part of the limbic system. this system can also have an effect on your memory, which he explained to me is why i dont remember what happens after the rage takes over.
i actually considered that i may have been a wolf when i was searching for myself...given the experiences i'd had.
-
Permalink Reply by Єğø ŇΩҲ Йø¢ŧīŝ έҳ дИϊмθ ►Mina◄ on -
I had totally forgotten about this. I am still working on fleshing out, my therioside. It has just always been there in my dreams, and such. So, I did kind of jump, though really, I have a long road ahead of me. Glad to know I am not alone.
Who's Chatting
Badge
© 2010 fairiesvampires.com Created by herself
