Looking for opinions

Please tell me what you think of this story. Honestly now!

Gonna try to draw a pic with words for you.

Imagine a crimson planet with a wonderful blue light glowing on the outside & a very noticible area of white into the center. Now let your vision take you to the inside. Now head a little ways to the northeast & look at the outside limits of what looks like the most beautiful city ever created. Feel the peaceful atmosphere as your mind takes a sort of scroll through the inside. once you reach the center of the city, You notice the same white light that you saw from the planets center earlier. Now as you go past it into a field of greenery & wildlife, you notice the air itself is visible as a wonderful green mist that fades in and out of view. Take a rest here, and feel so free, serene, and complete as you never have before. Let the peace & beauty overwelm you, & slowly fall to sleep. Wake up later on that night. Notice that all signs of life have disappeared. All the things that you would have seen earlier, like elves, humanoids with bunny & cat ears, or even the deer with a jewel on its forehead and the black foxes with white stripes, almost markings going down its back, all that is gone. Even the glowing crystal like water that reflected your face like a mirror is now nothing but dull & lifeless tap.Regardless of all this, the white light in the center of the city is still there. Now let yourself go much further away near the west edge of the city. Notice a beautiful woman with glowing light green hair, & bunny ears running out of an alleyway in a gown torn above her waist, just below her bra, and watch her stop at the end of the alley. Now watch her & study her carefully. as she lifts her hair you get a very clear view of her back. Its full of scratches & you notice that her left arm is bruised. Now when you take another look at her right arm, you see a few more scratches as she lowers it next to her leg. Her leg looks like someone took a hook and dug out some of the meat from her thigh. She readies herself to run again when she hears nothing, but as she does her leg finally gives out on her and she collapses on the ground & manages to crawl to the nearest wall. She tries to stimulate her leg again by putting pressure on it, but this only acts as a sort of gun trigger as her leg does a loud pop noise & she cries out, falling back to the ground. At the end of the alleyway you see two figures approach from the darkness. You listen to there ensuing conversation. Hey hey hey, little bunny. why'd you try to run off like that? my friends balls are still sore from that bite you gave them. Please...just leave me alone...I dont want this. Want what lady? all me and my friend here wanted was to see you cute shapely body. You were walking around with that almost see through blue shirt & those tight ass pants, so we assumed you wouldnt mind showing us a little flesh. We even showed you ours to make you feel welcome, but you just bit my friend heres balls and ran. Too make it worse, you kept going when I told you to stop & you got the hook on the chain my brother bought me all dirty with your blood! Bunny: Im sorry! Just please dont hurt me...[an unknown light flashes by, & it reveals two elves, one looking hungry & the other groping his groin] You're sorry! but that wont do now...no...no I think me & my friend deserve to feel you on the inside for all you've put us through. Bunny: No! Please dont my leg is hurt! I dont want this! We dont give a damn bitch! [you watch as they drag her to her feet with her howling in pain, & still screaming useless pleas] Now, I want you to service me first. put your hand on his balls and massage them until he feels better. Elf 2: AGH! She did it again! SHE HURT ME AGAIN!! Elf 1: You've got a lot of fight for a bitch that wont stop pleading. [as the first elf pulls out his hook-chain. the bunny takes it and with the last of her strength jabs it into the 2nd elfs mouth and pulls. This causes a great amount of blood to spew forth, along with pieces of his tongue and a few teeth. with the shredded remains of his tongue hanging out his mouth, he falls to the ground and dies] You stupid little bitch! [the 1st elf slams the bunny on the wall and yet more blood shoots out her leg. He uses gnarled and ungroomed hands to rip off her remaining top. Now her breasts are exposed, with a two fresh cuts on the left one that has not had the chance to bleed yet. He grabs one with fiendish delight & moves in to lick one, when a hooded figure passes by, not even caring about the situation at hand. the elf suddenly stops what he is doing and drops the bunny, then reaches into his pocket to pull out a small weapon(cant think of a name for the gun yet, but basically it is like an acid effect upon impact) & points it at the hooded figure] Now dont try anything funny, just turn around and let me see your face. The figure obeys, and turns around to reveal a faceless thing with what appears to be a faint small glowing white eye. Alright you glowy eyed freak, I cant let you just leave here after you've seen what ive been doing. So look at me again while you die.[ As he pulls the trigger, two huge claw like fingers come out its back and rips off the elfs hand. The other arm then splits into numerous tiny little claws that begin to slowly rip the elf apart. You watch as the claws go under his finger nails, into his fingers and poke out as a little claw that seemed to rip apart his very cells as they appeared on the outside of every pore. the claws very slowly work their way up, ripping out his stomach and intestines, expanding his chest until his ribs rip their way out of his body, then crumbling to dust. you now see the claws on the inside moving past his heart up to his eye sockets, a little claw popping out every vein until his eyes explode from the pressure.] As the bunny looked on in horror to what was happening to the elf, she saw its claw reach for her. Bunny:(I cant get away from it! Its gonna kill me too!) please dont![ the claws go past the bunnys closed eyes and begins to rip at the carcass of the 2nd elf, who apparently was not completely dead.] you now watch as the claws retract back into the hooded figure & it turns back around, continuing as if nothing happened, a weird acking noise coming from its body. You turn around and look at the bunny survey her surroundings. The stress drains out of her & she soils herself. Unable to go on, she faints.

Thats all I could think of so far. I still cant think of a new protagonist but I have one of the little enemies the protagonist will encounter numerous times throughout the story done now. What do you think of it so far?