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something stupid i did that i want to tell others about...

So. im putting this in the what am i section because its pertaining to awakenings.

The other day i decided that i did not want to be kin anymore. i decided that im simply a weird person and that all of this is some sort of paranoid delusion that i've created to entertain myself. My guide popped up and got very angry. i told him that he didnt exist, then proceeded to flip him off (do not flip off elder dragons. apparently they dont take to kindly to it) and walk out of his cave while he tried to flame broil my ass. My mate popped in at this point and i told him the same thing. to F*** OFF and that he doesnt exist. I have been sick since. I have discussed things with my guide since then, and after discussing things with him, my fever decreased within minutes (i was checking it a lot because it was changing quite rapidly, going up then down then up then down) and my body is just really really sore and tired today.

So what is the moral of my story? while being kin can sometimes seriously suck...we're stuck with it. that is one of the very few pieces of reality that i am unable to alter.

I wanted to post this up, because im sure that others have probably felt the same way (that its all in your head to keep yourself occupied) and im sure there are others who have not wanted to be what they are. So, i guess i hope others can avoid making this same mistake. because at the current moment i feel like a big steaming pile of poop.

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Permalink Reply by Lamenting Angel on November 12, 2009 at 10:47am: Whether you have excepted what you are or not it is who you are and no matter how hard you try not to it will remind you of that if you....stumble in your path..... how do I know this I have stumbled....many times.....haha I could have told you a dragon of any kind or age would react as such to being disrespected like that....one thing dragons DEMAND is respect......I am sorry you a feeling ill because of this but I hope you have learned not to stumble again.....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 12, 2009 at 11:11am: Thank you Lamenting Angel :)

yea i know. we're a short tempered species...thats for sure. i just wish sometimes that i could "shed my scales" so to speak lol. and be normal. In all honesty though...i think that my walking away from him when he was "lecturing" me was the part that ticked him off, more so than me giving him the finger. i've done worse. or at least tried too. God must have been on shrooms the day he decided to make me a dragon.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lamenting Angel on November 13, 2009 at 4:54am: haha I would say it was the walking away that did it too and maybe she was haha Dragons can be short tempered however the older they get in my experience the better control they have over that temper.You're welcome; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 13, 2009 at 6:07am: very much agreed on the older the calmer. with the exception of the Blacks. and i guess the reds too because we're the warriors, so i doubt that i'll ever be as calm as Spook. :D haha; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by SPyke on November 12, 2009 at 6:04pm: hah.like the time I angered my guide and wound up chased into a forest in the astral AND THEN HE SET IT ON FIRE to suffocate me and teach me a lesson. And he laughed while he did it. Did I mention that he laughed because he not only thought it was funny, but because he knew I would eventually learn my lesson that night and he knew it would not have really hurt me, but it must have been fun for him to watch me strugle with my ingraned physically human instincts. I think sometimes he forgot that I was still mortal during lesson time. with mortal fears and aversions. like to fire and suffocation. Actually, I think part of it WAS that he was keenly aware of it and loved to break my physical perceptions and limitations whenever he could. OOh I was pissed at him that day. Did I mention that my guide was an ass which is part of the reason I would rather discover my way alone?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lamenting Angel on November 13, 2009 at 4:59am: My you know I'm not even sure he's a guide well he is in someways but most of the time he's not around only when I do something stupid like only get 3hrs of sleep or not eat....the headache he gives ugh! its either headaches or being sweet with him...that's all I get from him....but some how I love him all the same...its a weird relationship......; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 13, 2009 at 6:14am: yea. scare tactics. he tries to use that on me too. i dont appreciate it and thats usually when i take off and dont talk to him or anything for a while. but i think you're definitely right. they know that what they're doing wont hurt us but it will hopefully shock some sense into us.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by black vein on November 12, 2009 at 6:19pm: hmm ur body can create fever it might be all a mind game or the truth...i try 2 understand that 2...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Belladonna. on November 13, 2009 at 5:30am: Trust me, I've tried to think It was fake too......But I learned the hard way..It's not.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 13, 2009 at 6:17am: ugh. why. this is what i dont understand. WHY in the world would i get put here. on earth. in this plane of existence. as a dragon. why couldnt i have gone somewhere where i can actually just BE a dragon. instead of having to hide it and make a half assed attempt at maintaining a human lifestyle. maybe i was reincarnated on april fools day.; ▶ Reply to This