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something stupid i did that i want to tell others about...

So. im putting this in the what am i section because its pertaining to awakenings.

The other day i decided that i did not want to be kin anymore. i decided that im simply a weird person and that all of this is some sort of paranoid delusion that i've created to entertain myself. My guide popped up and got very angry. i told him that he didnt exist, then proceeded to flip him off (do not flip off elder dragons. apparently they dont take to kindly to it) and walk out of his cave while he tried to flame broil my ass. My mate popped in at this point and i told him the same thing. to F*** OFF and that he doesnt exist. I have been sick since. I have discussed things with my guide since then, and after discussing things with him, my fever decreased within minutes (i was checking it a lot because it was changing quite rapidly, going up then down then up then down) and my body is just really really sore and tired today.

So what is the moral of my story? while being kin can sometimes seriously suck...we're stuck with it. that is one of the very few pieces of reality that i am unable to alter.

I wanted to post this up, because im sure that others have probably felt the same way (that its all in your head to keep yourself occupied) and im sure there are others who have not wanted to be what they are. So, i guess i hope others can avoid making this same mistake. because at the current moment i feel like a big steaming pile of poop.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Belladonna. on November 15, 2009 at 1:06am: And now women are using it! *laughs* haha; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 15, 2009 at 7:04am: memories can be scary as shit though. maybe subconsciously you know that, and thats why you have them suppressed and locked away in the back of your mind...because i tend to have really emotional reactions to my memories and usually its panic and/or fear. rarely is it a good emotion.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daniel on November 15, 2009 at 7:06am: I can imagine, I think that the past me wanted me to have a "normal" life, and that is why I think they are blocked, along with most of my powers.

So what did you think of my idea that I mentioned earlier in the discussion? What is your take on it?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 15, 2009 at 7:26am: i agree. i know that im young for a dragon. i might be super old for any other species...but we age differently i think. if i was to compare dragon years to human years, i think that i would be a dragon in my "30's". Spook would've been old enough to be my mom or grandmother. see...im old enough to remember that i was in Atlantis for a while...i have memories. and I was in Hell for a really really long time...but i've only been here (earth? lol) for a few centuries i think. so maybe thats why?...im having trouble adjusting to life outside of Hell? i mean...that would explain why im always in trouble. i have memories of living in this world only for a small amount of time compared to how long i lived elsewhere...and when i was "elsewhere" im sure i was either in more of a dragon form, or some other non-human form where i didnt have to "blend in". i think that could also potentially be why...because im not adjusting to life here very well.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daniel on November 15, 2009 at 7:30am: I think that would be the difference between you and I. I'm very mature for my age, most of the time that is, and I practice very enhanced mental strength. I'm accustomed to life on here, and I know what to do and what Not to do as well. I think that it's just a matter of the species, :).

So as I've said, I do believe I had a guardian at one point in time, but I do not think I need one any longer.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 15, 2009 at 7:31am: consider yourself very lucky lol. but if a big booming voice enters your head when you get to be 19-20 years old...run for the hills...hehe; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daniel on November 15, 2009 at 7:43am: Lol, oh I will. don't worry.. I will even go to the lengths of checking myself into the crazy home :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on November 15, 2009 at 7:57am: lol that didnt even work for me...been there, done that, still F'ed up :D :P haha; ▶ Reply to This