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Step-parenting
For all intensive purposes, I'm "stepmommy" to my boyfriend's one year old son. I guess it's a little different in my case because the real mother is into drugs and prostitution and is leaving state soon... hopefully she won't come back, for everyone's sake.. anyways because of that I guess I'm a little more than stepmommy, I'm covering more "mommy" territory to make up for her lack of interest. I don't have any kids of my own yet, so he's the only one. I'm just wondering if anyone else is step-parenting and how they feel about it, etc. I was scared at first and also thought I would resent him, but I love the kid to death to be honest, and it turns out I'm pretty damn good at this mommy thing. Some people are judging me because I'm so young and they say I'll regret it, etc... But I love the man I'm with and I, especially as a child of divorced parents, understand that kids come with the package, and I told him a long time ago that I respected that and agreed. Quite honestly, this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. I'm starting to gain a whole new perspective on life. As my mother says to me now, welcome to parenthood. :)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by NAYxna on -
good for you:)
honestly ive no step-mommy thing but i do take care of my 6 year old cousin...well now whenever i get a chance to, because they moved. before a few months back, my uncle and aunt they lived here in the city,and well besides giving him the regular meals (if that at times) and dropping him and picking him up from school, they don't give a crap. So yea...i do get a sense of what you mean. I've taken care of him since he was a few months old, and i love him enormously....it kills me that he's so far away and i only get so see him every now and then...i was worried that he'd be really sad and down if he left, and i mean he kinda was at first but given that he's so young the moment they hired this really nice nanny who keeps him busy and smiling, he's happy. So im happy too :)
Anyways, if you're happy with the situation...and you all love and care for one another...i simply don't see the problem. Whoever told you you'll regret it, don't have idea what they're talking about because at the end of the day, you're the one feeling what you're feeling, and nothing else matters.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah on -
im so happy for you Cer :D one of my best friends is a step mom. her fiance has a daughter from a previous relationship and his daughters mom left. so hes had her for her whole life. my friend met him when she was 4 or 5 years old...they instantly bonded and now (almost 4 years later) my friend is her mom. its like they were meant to find each other and have this family...now they have a 1 year old daughter together (i maintain that he has feminized sperm, he has 3 daughters!) and they are so happy and content together...dont let people tell you anything. you will know the answers to any questions you have by looking within :)
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Permalink Reply by Cerulean on -
It was my therapist who told me I'd regret it, lol. But I don't. Even though we argue because our current situation is ASS I love him with my entire soul, and I finally have the family I always wanted. I think this whole mommy thing is something I'm actually really good at for once.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah on
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are you serious? a good therapist shouldnt say things like that. a good therapist would say "ok, so this is what you've chosen, lets work on how to cope with any new stresses that this could bring" thats what my shrink would do...listen to any concerns i have and help me learn to cope with any potential stress or anxiety or any other dysregulated emotion.
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Permalink Reply by Cerulean on
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Yeah. She's a tool, lol. I'd definitely like your shrink better.
By the way, the kid has started calling me 'mama'... I talked to his Dad about it to see how he felt, and neither of us have a problem with it.. I mean, I do tell people he's my kid.. :)
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Permalink Reply by Sushi on -
well i havent been through that exactly.
but i know what it feels. all you are is more
responsible and ull be ready fpr when u
have ur own kids. love the kid he will see
u like his mother since his biological one
wasnt responsible enough to get better in life
give him all he needs and always protect him.
:)
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