The Curious case of CULLEN, DIGGORY and PATTINSON

sorry for the very late posts about this guys..

anyways, another random story.. hope you liked it! credits to my friend, Nicole M... ☺☻♥

(Edward was walking around in the forest near forks when all of a sudden he saw Cedric Diggory, The guy from Harry Potter, riding his broomstick)

Edward: *stares at Cedric from the sky* he looks oddly familiar... very very familiar. Ugh.

Cedric: *goes near Edward* Hey! You! Yeah You!

Edward: *stares at cedric* Me? Yes?

Cedric: *goes down from his broom stick* (In a totally hott british accent) Do you happen to know how I can get to Hogwarts?

Edward: o.O Hogwa-?

Cedric: Hogwarts. You know.., Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? The ones mentioned at Harry Potter?

Edward: Err... No... Isnt that supposed to be fictional? Who are you anyway?

Cedric: Well... to be honest, My name is Cedric Diggory. and Im a Wizard. May I ask your name?

Edward: Oh. Cool. Wizard. Im Edward, Edward Cullen. Im a vampire.

Cedric: A Vampire? Hmm.. interesting.. can you tell me more about your species?

Edward: Uhh. Sure. I guess so.... o.O

(Cedric and Edward sits on a bench)

Cedric: Anyway.. I know this is kinda odd, but heck! People in Hogwarts are kinda weird! All of a sudden, there's this fictional book that became very popular in the human world and all of the sudden, a group of witches comes wearing shirts saying 'My boyfriend sparkles' blah blah and calling me 'Eddie' or sometimes they go shreiking at me saying 'Bite me Cedric! Bite me!' How Odd.

Edward: Hmm... *scratches his chin* How odd indeed! I had the same situations when my girlfriend, Bella, googled my name and thousands of results always associates my name with the Robert Pattinson guy from god-knows-where and this character who gets killed by Voldemort in the fourth Harry Potter series! It's Maddness!! *grips his head with his hands*

Cedric: I know right! and to be perfectly honest, you look oddly familiar....

Edward: well... I have to be honest too! You look, well... You look like this guy from the Harry Potter movie....

Cedric: Haha. Yes. The british actor Robert Pattinson right? I've heard about him, He is also the guy who will be playing a role of some American vampire movie called twilight... hmmm...

Edward: *shivvers* This is totally creepy.. me and Bella watched this movie when his character dies, and she started getting obsessed with this guy and started posting his pictures all over her room which is driving me nuts! I swear if I see thet guy, I will snap his neck!

Cedric: I toast to that! And who is this Bella?

Edward: Oh, she's my girlfriend... she's human. but her father is Charlie, the unicorn. Ever heard of him? He's very popular on youtube...

Cedric: *laughs hysterically* Bloody lord! that funny guy? *says in a annoying, high pitched voice* Charliee! Lets go to candy mountain charliee! chaaaarrliieee! (if you guys dont know what Charlie the Unicorn is, Hella funny. Check Youtube!)

(then out of nowhere, Robert Pattinson arrives screaming, still very very sexy)

Robert: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! *very sexily* PLEASE!!!! HELP ME!!! Hel- *stares at cedric and edward*

(for a very long time of 5 seconds and 3 nanoseconds, the 3 characters stares at each other, giving one another a holy-molie-this-is-getting-freaking-odd-by-every-freaking-second-looks)

Cedric,Edward,Robert: Okkaaaayyy.......

Edward: this is totally freaking me out..

Robert: uhh.. hello... uhmmm... please.. can you help me... I beg you!

Cedric: but we dont even know you.....

Edward: Yeah. By the way, Im Edward Cullen.

Robert: *stares eye-wide at edward* Uhh..... I am Robert Pattinson... Uhh... You're name sounds oddly familiar..

Edward: WHY! It's-wah-It's -I-UGH! ITS YOU!!!

Robert: wah! What did i do?? please! you've got to help me!

Cedric: *whacks Robert Pattinson with his broom on his butt* Hello! my name Cedric Diggory! *smiles*

Robert: *Looks like he's about to get a heart attack* This.. is.. soo... MAD!! Your name sounds soo familiar!!

Edward: Grrr! (stares at Robert, taking the quote 'If looks can kill' too literally) Do you have any idea what I am??

Robert: *shivvers violently* uhhh.. *very sexily, in his super hunky british accent* Base from my role as a hungry,overly-seductive vampire in the Twilight moive, you must be a va-vampire?

Edward: *grins* Yes.

Robert: *gulp*

Cedric: Hey! im also british! weee! and Im a wizard!

Robert: *looks like he's about to faint* a wi-wizaardd?

Cedric: yes :D

Edward: *tries to be very calm* Okay, we will try to help you, but let me clarify something, You are very fortunate enough that my girlfriend is overly inlove with your character and cried when your role as this stupid wizard died after voldy killed him, i have a reason not to break your neck.! hence the fact that majority of the people here in this stupid town of forks is thinking and irritating me to death asking me 'how my bath with harry was in the HP series' ugh.!!!!! I could literally snap your neck in this moment. So what is your problem?

Cedric: and yes! People now in Hogwarts- specially the females- though not that I object! but what irritates me is when the homosexuals in my wizard class asks me if i can 'bite them and suck the living out of there holyness' and them screaching louder that the screaching trees at the black forest saying 'Bite me Cedric' and tons of the so called twilightlexicon club witch members mobbing me whenever i have a Quidditch match! They even tease my good friend Hermoine that she looks like this Kristen Stuart girl of yours!

Edward: Speaking of girls, My Bella is being called a witch! a Witch I tell you! they tell me that "Edward, why dont you go suck Voldy's bottom for Hermione, i mean, Bella's sake! blahbidibalh!" and when Bella watched your stinkin movie, she was like " NO EDWARD! I mean, CEDRIC!!" Goodness!

Robert: UGH!! Im just doing my job! please, will you PLEASE HELP ME?! my crazed twilight Fangirls just attacked me while I was filming for New Moon! They chased me out of canada for goodness sake! while I was running away from them, I came across my old Harry potter fangirls of mine! They are trying to Mob me you see! MOB MEEEE!!!

(soon after, a gazillion girls starts shrieking and stomping, coming closer by every ticking second)

Twilight girls: We are the Twilight Fangirls! Quick! Grab Rob before they do! !

Wizard lovers: and We are the Wizard-lovers! AAAHH!!!! GET YOUR FILTY HANDS OFF OUR ROB!

(then Edward,Cedric and Roberts stares at the 2 groups of Rob-crazed girls, Stunned)

(but unexpectedly, the girls all stopped on their tracks, staring at both cedric and edward)

twilight girls: *gets stunned by Edward's beauty* . . . . .

Edward: Uh-Oh.

Twilight Girls: EEEEPP!!! ITS THE REAL EDWARD CULLEN!!!! QUICK!!! RUN!!! AFTER HIMM!!!!!!!

Edward: *screams at robert* NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!! *runs off and disappears in thin air*

Twilight Girls: (in a irritating Charlie the Unicorn voice) EDWAARD! EDWAARD! EDWAAAAAARDD!!! EDWAARD THE BANANAAA KIING!!! BITEEE MEE!!! BITEEE MEE!!

(then, The Wizard Lovers stares at Cedric for awhile)

Wizard loving girls: Who are you?

Cedric: uhmm.. Im No one?

(Wizard Loving girls stares at Robert, on position to attack)

Robert: Hey! Dont look at me! he's the Wizard! *points at Cedric with both hands* and For real his name is Cedric! CEDRIC DIGGORY!

(Wizard lovers stares back at Cedric)

Wizard girls: Is it true then? *bitch looks*

Cedric: Uhmm.. well... Im Bob?

(then one of the wizard girls goes near him and gets his wallet from his yellow robe)

Wizard Girl number 1: Hmm. then if you're not Cedric, then why in the world is your Broom flying license says you're name is Cedric Diggory, Born on 24th of June 1977, A prefect and the captain of the Hufflepuff quidditch team? eh?

Cedric: Uh... I stole it from him? *Gulp*

Female Fans: GET HIM! AAAAHhH!!!!

Cedric: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! SAVE MEEE!!!!
*rides on his broom but before he can even took off, the girls already started
ripping every piece of fabric he is wearing and taking every strad of hair he has*

(while Cedric gets mauled by his fangirls he never realized he had, Robert Pattinson quickly glides off the scene before I jump into the story and maul him all by myself. the END!)

SOURCE: twilight saga (multiply)
by: Nicole M