screaming at the car

The car.
My car has a name you know. I call her Pearl. Mostly becasue she is white, and she behaves like a 65 year old lady with chronic health problems that only seem to act up when something important is required of her, you know, like getting up to go to work. She demands to be kept in a garage, and when out on the town, to be parked on a level space away from drafts and moisture.

she is old, cantankerous and annoying, and if her needs are not met, she goes nowhere. But she is payed for so it's what I have. Oh, did I mention that often merely threatening her with maintenence will get her going again? I swear to you I have the only car that requires to start 4 parts gas, 3 parts electricity 2 parts sweet talking and 1 part screaming insults