My Accident

November 24, 2008 diary entry

Last Thursday at my career school we did multiple firefighting simulations. We brought out fire hoses to put together, rescued a person from a car accident, an crawled ito a burning building. I never got to do the fire hoses. I participated in the car accident once and the burning building twice. I cannot tell much about the car accident other than the cold taking away all my strength. It was really painful until our class took a five minute break inside. When it came time for me to go into the burning building, my classmates had trouble finding the right SCBA to go with my fire mask (an SCBA is like a scuba tank, but for firefighters). This course was a blind test thing so we had our masks taped so we can't see. I waited all geared up to be led to the doorway to the building with my partners, Ashley and Raelyn. Ashley was the leader heading in with me in the middle and Raelyn behind me. The guys in my class that put our SCBA's and masks on us thought it would be better for me to be in the middle because of my severe claustrophobia. I don't think it would have helped being enclosed between two people, but it did make me feel protected. Going in there was a bad idea, but I wanted to face it. I was weak on my hands and knees, shaking from head to toe. Raelyn strangled my foot hard against the ground. It was hard for me to hold onto the girls because they moved too fast or too slow. I remember screaming at them to stay together. When Ashley found the victim, we turned to leave. I started to feel sick of our little venture and while heading back my helmet kept falling off my head crushing my face with the mask. The guys were keeping a close eye on me and even tried to fix my helmet on my head. Then I lost Raelyn and Ashley and got stuck tightly between a table leg and the wall. That's when I couldn't cope anymore. I was terrified. I couldn't get out. The guys quickly realized I was panicking and pulled me out. I could hear them screaming. "GET HER OUT OF THERE! GET HER UP!" I was not fine after that, but I lied every time they asked me if I was okay. Usually I wait for 5-10 minutes to see if it will pass. I went into the classroom, put away my gea, and organized my stuff to leave, I went to a clear area in the back of the room on the wrestling mats and sat against the wall, knees to my chest. I was an emotional wreck. Alyssa noticed me an kept asking me the same question until I said no. Mr. Allen and her sat with me until lunch trying to help me by just talking to me. He was saying all sorts of ridiculous things. I liked it when he called himself an ass and I jus kept nodding like I'm agreeing. I do not think o himas a ass, but more of a father I never had. While soe of my classmates escorted me to lunch, I walked shakily and unbalanced, keeping one hand scaling the walls. I was so bad that Alyssa asked me if I wanted a wheelchair. She even went back to Mr. Allen to be sure of what to do. They kept urging me t go to the nurse and I disagreed, no matter how bad I was. Half my class followed me around the cafeteria, kept eye on me as I ate at the table seperate from their's. The chairs were close together and the food was too dry. I managed to eat a little more than half before heading out for my bus. I'm glad to have such a wonderful class. Mr. Alen and Alyssa kept trying to get me to the nurse, but I refused. They even went to get her, but still they couldn't convince me to go in that tiny room they call a nurses office. So I got on my bus and waited for the day to nd at my high school and collapsed on my bed when I got home.

To this day my family still does not know about my accident and I don't ever want them to know.