fairies and vampires

vampire fairy twilight goth emo punk sk8er meeting place

I've always told my sister to be careful of boys who she doesn't know, but I never imagined that I would have to take that advice too, and I never thought that the guy I had to fear, was a guy I knew and trusted and loved with all of my heart.

I have taken care of my sister, Annalise, since our parents died of unknown causes. She is 12 years old and has no legs. I have to have 2 jobs to provide for her and her medical bills, but we get a discount since she and I only have each other. It might also have to do with the fact that I am under the age of 18.
“Destiny, come on. I'm going to be late to school, and I have a chess club meeting at 3 so I'll call you when that's over. Come on! I can't just drive myself there you know.” Annalise said. She had started this chess club when we moved into the flat 4 blocks from her school. My high school was only a 15 minute drive from our house. “Come on! I don't have all day!”
“I'll be there in a minute Shorty. I just have to finish cleaning up breakfast.” I'd yell back at her. Every day after I'd unloaded her from the car and put her in her wheelchair, I'd wave as she went to meet up with her friends.
As I drove to school one day after being reminded that she had a chess tournament and not to miss it many, many times (I'd lost count after 27) I started to think of what my day was going to be like. I already knew what was going to happen; I'd go to school, I'd do my work, I'd go home, I'd do my home work, I'd go watch Annalise's tournament, we'd come home, I'd get dinner started while she did her homework, we'd watch a movie on the old TV we got from our neighbor, and we'd go to bed. The only thing was that I couldn't get this feeling out of my head that I'd forgotten something, something important. I checked my book bag when I got to the school parking lot but everything was there, even my essay that I had completed 3 days early.
I was always the first one to the school because Annalise had student counsel almost every morning and I went straight from her school to mine. The only other person in the school that early, besides the janitor, was the librarian, Mrs. Sight. Everyone loved her because she barely ever gave out fines, but when she did, it was because they were 2 weeks late, and those fines were minuscule. If I had my book in late at all, even 2 minutes, she would fine me 10 dollars, at least. The only reason I ever put up with her was just so I could read the books in the library.
Mrs. sight has always had a weak spot for her books before and after hours, but I didn't care about that. I went into the library expecting to see her plump little face glowering at me, but instead she was smiling. I would almost go far enough to say it was partially kind. I was so confused at fist, i thought that she had seen someone else behind me and I checked, but there was nobody there.
“Hello dear, come to check out another book?” I had never heard her voice so clearly before, it had always been a snarling rasp or something close to that, but now it was inviting, and sweet, sort of. “Come on, I need to show you something. Come on, come on.”
she led me into the back room of the library, I had never been back here before, but as soon as I walked in I noticed one thing at least: there were stacks upon stacks of precariously perched books that all had brightly covered bindings, with gold letters on the spines, all having to do with one particular subject, my personal favorite subject, vampires.
“this is my own personal collection of books. I have noticed many similarities between us, mainly that we both have an unnerving interest in the species of the Amor Sanguinis also known as vampires. I was going through my list of previous fines and I noticed something rather peculiar, perhaps it is the reason it took a strong disliking to you the moment we met, every book that you have checked out during your time at this school has either been for a project at school or about vampires, and as for todays date, I shall give you one of the most infamous vampire books of all time so far. Here you are, the story of Elizabeth Lucilia: the great queen of blood. Just be sure to never, ever take what you read in this book seriously. Can you agree to that?” she had been babbling but I had caught every word of what she said, but I still didn't understand what was so important about today.
“yes, I understand. Thank you very much Mrs. Sight.” and for once, I meant it. She handed me the book and then showed me the way out of the maze of towers of books, I was still amazed by how many books could be on one very narrow subject.
I went straight to my locker to put the book in a safe place, but something stopped me and took me to my favorite class instead. I sat in my usual spot by the back corner of the room and started to get out my note book, but again something stopped me and made me grab the vampire book instead. I figured that since I was the only one in there and no one would come in for another hour that I might as well read the first chapter. I soon discovered that there were no chapters, only places where the story stopped for a page or 2 and the continued. The first section started as follows:

the way humans see things is such an intriguing way that I have captured various types of these creatures to ask them as follows. Have you ever seen death before? Have you experienced blindness? Are you seeing spots right now?
They all have different answers but if I keep them as pets, they expire much too quickly. if I were to feed them more than once a week then maybe they would last longer. I once tried an experiment on 1 of my humans who called himself Robert. He was large for a human, he weighed about 275 pounds. I only gave him water once a day and food once a week, and after 2 months he was only 115 pounds. A few days after the first 2 months, he expired and became a treat for my servants, for I do not befoul myself with such ignorant little humans, I prefer female children of about 17 winters old...


After this I just stopped. Why did that line scare me so much? I'm 16, not 17. My birthday is not until January 13th, so why was I scared? Hadn't Mrs. Sight said that I was not to take anything in here seriously? And why was today so important? I just don't get it.
I was so glad that just then my teacher, Mr. Sprague, came through the door.
“Destiny, what are you doing here so early? I thought that you spend mornings in the library. Also, I got the application forms for the wrestling team if you still want to do this.” Mr. Sprague was my homeroom, science, and P.E. Teacher, and also my coach for track, wrestling, and football. He was my favorite teacher and still is, as far as I'm concerned. He would always be telling all the boys (who generally made up the rest of the team) to never go easy on me. “just treat her like you would any other opponent.” is what he'd tell them, mainly because I was stronger than almost every guy on our or any other team. “you ok? Should I get the nurse up here?”
“No way! I'm fine. I'm just a little confused by this book I just got from the library. Not confused really just, annoyed at myself. I just got real scared and I don't know why. I mean, I've read scarier books that this. So why am I so...out of it?” I did sound scared. I was talking barely louder than a whisper by the time I finished.
“i don't know, Destiny. Oh, by the way, did I ever tell you that your parents were practically my best friends?”
“No, Mr. Sprague. You've never told me that.”
“well, I meant to. And they told me that as your 'guardian angel', as they called me, I should give this to you, should you ever need it.” at this he held out an envelope (that hadn't been there a second ago) with my name on it, scrawled in very neat print, as though it had been typed, but I was sure that it was handwriting. And if I was not mistaken, it looked a lot like his handwriting. “go on, open it. I want to see how you react.”
I opened it slowly so as to admire the beauty of the package. The only lasting memory of them that I ever had was when they were lying in the coffins for the rest of the eternity. That was the one memory that I wished would go away, so I could hold on to the others.
Inside the envelope was a small necklace that I was positive it was made of pure silver, and it had a charm on it that seemed to be a locket. I opened up the locket and looked at the picture inside. It was my mother and father on one side and Annalise and I on the other.
“do you like it? Your father made that out of silver bullets that were fired at his father when some village folks got it into their heads that he was a werewolf. He told me that if you were to ever need comforting, or if I thought you were about to be changed, then I was to give that to you.”
“what do you mean 'about to be changed'? How would I be changed? Is there something I need to know?"

to be continued...

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oh come on people... is it realy that bad?

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No this isn't bad at all. I think you have a good idea and some good characters. I feel like we skip from one scene to the next a little too quickly. What do they feel? What do they see, (as in what does their home look like, the drive to school, etc.)? You gave us plump face and raspy voice which is good, but we don't know why the librarian dislikes Destiny so much. What does this librarian smell like or what is she wearing? Maybe talk about what her eyes look like on a daily basis but today there was a "sparkle" about them or an evil glint or something that makes her stand out more so than today. Lead up to why Destiny loves the library, escapism from her very responsible, adult life that was thrust upon her? How she dreads seeing the evil librarian who unfairly overcharges her with library.
I hope you don't mind my feedback. I wouldn't give it too you if I didn't see something in your story. I want more and that is why I am giving it to you.
The paragraph from the book is written really well and very, very good! I hope you post more when you have time!

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i will, dont worry. this was just chapter one.
(muahahahaha)

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Good for you! I would love to hear more! Keep it up! Awesome evil laugh!

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thx

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hey qweeny. i didn't know you were on this site! I've missed you this summer! BTW, love your story! it is completely incredible!

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hey cuz! you are on here too? awesome! thanks for the pick-me-up on my story. and sorry i haven't been able to talk to you.

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