Notess...
I'm just having one of them day's again and i just want it to end. Nothing's been done, everyone's moaning and i've had enough. Sorry if i'm moping but i just need to get it off of my chest really.
I've read this message over and over and every time i read it i feel sorry for her knowing how she feels but i just thought other people should read this and see if they feel the same.
New beginnings...?
They're at it again, do this, do that. I never have time anymore to just sit and be a normal teenager. I'm alway the different one. See i'm grounded at the moment, what for i do not know but the others, they annoy and back-chat and defy them but they still get to go out and have fun. What is fun?
I know alot of people say this, but i do hate my life. I am one of the people who can truthfully say that. And mean it.
I don't tell people anymore, in fear that they will either try and stop me or that they will try and sort it out, as that only makes it worse.
Guilt is one of the emotions i most fear. But pain is a blessing, a way to feel something else other than numbness. I see death as a beginning and not an end, unlike most people. I wonder if my new beginning will come soon?
Will my new beginning never start ? He's ill now, a sick heart. He's dying. I've told him, don't fear death, for that willonly bring more pain for the family. Mom is crying in the corner. She couldn't stand by him without lapsing back into the pain and fear that will be the end of her. I can fix this. I will fix this.
Never before had i tried my magick and never again will i ever have to use my magick for my own selfish wants and needs. The phone rings. His heart isn't dead, he will live but he'll have to fight.
But will he fight ? Yes. Yes, he will.
Nothing will ever be the same now, he can hardly move without crying out in pain. /but still i am nothing but another exscuse, another means to bitter end.
*The person who wrote this would like to stay anomynous and is one of my closest friends, i try to help her as much as i can and as much as she allows but i'm afraid one of these day's it won't be enough.