I will never regret anything that at one time was exactly what i wanted and what made me smile

1.Do you think i want to be this way? ------------------I don't want to be
2.Do you think i want to hurt?------------------------------I don't want to
3.Do you think i want to let you go?---------------------I don't want to
4Do you think i hate you?-----------------------------------I don't
5Do you think i want to live in hell?----------------------I don't want to
6Do you think i don't care?---------------------------------I do care
7Do you think i want to be jealous?--------------------I don't want to be
8Do you think i don't want you to be happy?-------I want you to be happy
9Do you think i want to not fix this?-------------------I want to i really do
10Do you think i enjoy being me?----------------------I really don't
11Do you think i want you to leave?-------------------I really don't want you to
12Do you think i want to cry?----------------------------I really don't want to
13Do you think i want to be this way?----------------I don't want to but i need to be
14Do you think i do this for me?------------------------I do it for you
15Do you think i'm selfish?-------------------------------I don't think i am
16Do you think i enjoy being a bitch?----------------I don't despite how it may seem
17Do you think i don't ever blame myself?---------I always blame myself for everything and you can't change that
18Do you think i want to blame you?-----------------I wish i could sometimes
19Do you think i don't feel horrible for making everyone else's life shitty?- i feel like shit myself
20Do you think i want to hurt you?--------------------I really don't want to
21Do you think i want to confuse you?--------------I wish i didn't
22Do you think i am set out to make your life hard?----I don't want to
23Do you think i want to be a pushover?-----------I wish i wasn't
24Do you think i can say no to you sometimes?-I almost never can.
25Do you think i do this for a good reason?----trust me i do
26Do you think i regret any of this?---------------nope and i never will
27Do you think i don't love you anymore?------i will never stop. i may not trust you anymore but i can't stop loving you. you kept me sane. you were my sole confidence.i don't want to be this way. but i do it for a reason and you know that. you may think i'm over reacting over dramatic bitch that needs to get over herself. but when you say sorry and i don't believe a word you say i see a problem. one that i need to fix. this is my way of fixing it. i don't care if it hurts me. i can handle it. whenever i get mad i always go back to when you were there for me when i needed you most. and its scares me that i will never have that again but i have to face reality. i don't want to be a jealous bitch. i want you to be happy. but i want you to learn from this.so i may cry and bitch and whine . but i do it for a reason. and i'm sorry if you don't like it but right now it is what i see as right. and i wish sorry could make it all better oh how i wish it could but it doesn't and i have to deal with that.i am sorry. i yell at you and bitch at you as my way of getting you to push back. to fight that is my way of trying to get some emotion and reaction out of you. it seems unorthodox but its what i can think of what to do. it is my way of getting you to yell at me do something do anything. its better then what is happening now. ur not clueless. ur smart and i know that. so u may not even read this but o well.i am sorry


*hey heres some poetry that i have written over the years. most of it is shit but hey what can i do.

My mind gaurds my heart
protects it from itself
disgaurds stupid ideas
that love may create
my mind keeps my heart
from soaring way to high
keeps my dreams from giving
hope to a heart that can't
contain itself without restraint
that restraint is my mind

She has changed you ,
somewhat for the better
somewhat for the worse,
You are slowly leaving,
although its not as if i blame you
i am pushing you out
but its for my own saftey
i am finally taking the easy way out
for fear of the past repeating
you do not understand
and i do not expect you to
you still care you say
but i say you don't
i am making myself right
i am making you not care
but i'm taking the easy way out
for once in my life






So many emotions
I can't tell
which to feel
and which to quel
So many people
I can't tell
who to trust
who to sell
out for someone better
who would help me if i fell
even when they're angy
the one who i could tell
everything and anything to
the one who could yell
for me when i am silenced
the one who keeps me well
in body mind and spirit



Memories
Hiding in darkness
the caverns of my brain
littered with past memories
that appear when no one is looking
haunt me through the day
keep my mind reeling
when its supposed to be at rest
not giving me a second
to find comfort in solitude
or tranquility in the quiet
it always needs to be distracted
to keep those memories from me
and distract myself forever is what i'll do
to keep the nightmares away

Marks and scars
they cover my skin
momentos of places
and people i have met
some bring a smile
others bring tears
but all keep me connected
to the past and its lessons








im mad at everyone
then just mad at myself
want to be alone
then feel lonely
hiding in a corner
then screaming so everyone sees me
living on the outside
dying on the inside


Tell me that you don't care
make it sound real
so you can go on
and i can stay here
you will live in joy
while i drown in pain
but it will be worthwhile
because i will be gone again

love
i love you
but i don't want to
what should i do
where should i go
should i stick it out
should i just ignore it
should i distance myself
or bring you closer to me
im so confused
but i dont want to be


Music....
What is it?
notes and rythm
or passion and soul?
flats and sharps
or feelings and thoughts?
Does anyone really know?


Forget and Forgive
You touch, i trust
You hide, I hurt
You laugh, I smile
You regret, I cry
You listen, I talk
You frown, I hug
You hope, I reply
You forget
I forgive

World
Your eyes were the sea
Your hair was the land
Your smile was the sun
You were my world

Best friends?
Why do you change
Yet i stay the same
you go
but i stay
You move on
i cling
you find new
i stay with you

US

inside and out, thats how i know you
outside and in, thats how you know me
yet we still fight
yet we still yell
but through it all we stay
us

23 days

23 days you are gone from me
we still write but its not the same
i feel like i'm losing you
and fighting that loss is wasted time
ifeel angry , my patients has left
But i would still take you back
because in 23 days
what we have lost will come back to us

What i do is for best
It may kill me inside
It may drive me to insanity
It may keep me from others
It may make me close myself off from the world
But it's for the best
for you

My mind says two things
each the exact oppisite of the other
it won't let me sleep
it won't let me get away
it won't stop
thinking and hurting
i can't get away
i need to get away
i need to say goodbye

want/need
i want to hold on
i need to let go
i want to forgive
i need to forget
i want to hug
i need to abstain
i want to fix
i need you to
i want to see
i need to go blind
i want to stop
i need to keep going
i want to love
i need to hate
i want to be there
i need to stay away
i want to iggnorant
i need to understand
i want to make you
i need you to make yourself
i want what makes me happy
i need what makes you better
i want a lie
i need the truth
i want everything back to what it was
i need what is right....not what i want

well thats all of it. for now

this is something i found on my friends profile

Kiss on lips – I love you
Kiss on ear – You are special
Kiss on nose – Laughter
Kiss on cheek – Friends
Kiss on forehead – I comfort you
Kiss on neck – I want you
Kiss on shoulder – You are wonderful
Kiss on hand – I adore you
Kiss anywhere else – Be careful
Play with hair – Can’t live without you
Holding hands – Happiness
Arms around waist – You are mine and I need you
Hug – I care
Nibble on ear – Let’s continue
Smiling at eachother – I like you
Wink – Flirt
Looking around – Hiding true feelings
Tender kiss on the side of lips – You are mine
Wetting own lips – Waiting for a kiss
Biting own lips – Wanting to tell something
Tear drop – I’m losing you



I AGREE AND I WANT ONE
I want a guy who will put his arms around me.♥
A guy who will put his fingers through mine.♥
A guy who will kiss me softly.♥
A guy to hold my hand when we cross the street.♥
Who will be ther when im sick.♥
A guy who will be ther 4 me no matter wat eva happens.♥
Who will love me 4 me and all my weirdness.♥
A guy will hug me anytime.♥
A perfect guy.♥
The perfect guy.♥
The love of my life.♥
He is my true love.♥
My Life.♥♥


╔═╦══╦═╗Put this on your
║╩╣║║║║║site if you support
╚═╩╩╩╩═╝Emo's or are one

♥_♥_ ♥_♥_Put this
♥___♥_♥___♥ heart
_♥___♥___♥_ on your
__♥_____♥__ page if
___♥___♥___ you love
____♥_♥____ someone
_____♥_____ very much

1. Kiss on the hand = I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek = I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck = I want you *
4. Kiss on the lips = I love you
5. Kiss on the ears = I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else = lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes = kiss me
8. Playing with your hair = I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist = I love you to much to let you go

*not

IF ONLY THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE
I pledge to:

* Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect.
* Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally, or emotionally.
* Respect my girlfriend's or boyfriend's decisions concerning sex and affection.
* Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship.
* Accept responsibility for myself and my actions.

----///-\\\----ιƒ yσυ нαvє єvєя ƒєℓт
---|||---|||---αℓσηє
---|||---|||---нαтє∂
---|||---|||---ѕυι¢ι∂αℓ
----\\\-///----αρραтнєтι¢
-----\\///-----∂єρяєsѕє∂
------///\-----σя
-----///\\\----jυsт
----///--\\\---ƒєєℓ ιη ραιη ρυт тнιs ση yσυя ƒιℓє αη∂ нєℓρ sσмєσηє συт ωнσ ƒєєℓs тнαт ωαy ρєσρℓє ηєє∂ тσ kησω тнєу αяє ησт αℓσηє

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head..."

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off."


....................^ ^
................../..•_) Rawr
..... _.----._/../ Means
...../............./ I
__/..(...|.(...| Love
/__.-|_|--|_| You In Dino, RAWR

☆┌─┐　─┐☆
　│▒│ /▒/
　│▒│/▒/
　│▒ /▒/─┬─┐
　│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘ ●●Peace ●●
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
　└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ 92% of the teenage population has switched to rap. If you are the 8% who still rocks, copy and paste this as your signature...

Don't Label Me
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
Just Because I Am Different

|...........|
|...........| Put this on your
|...........| profile if you have
|.......O.| ever pushed a
|...........| door that said pull!
|...........|
...i've done this a lot

|--|
|--|PUT THIS IN UR PAGE IF U EVER
|--|WALKED INTO A POLE
|--|
|--|

(\__/)
(+'.'+) This is a Bunny. Copy and paste
(")_(") into your profile to help him gain world domination ^^ hehe.Because a world ruled by bunnies would be awesome!
(\ /)
( . .)
c(")(") This is another bunny.... but you don't have to put him on your profile. He's kind of shy.....
(\__/)
(o .O)
(___)O And here is a third bunny. As you can tell, he has a rare birth defect. So do not put him on your profile, either. Because he is embarrased and doesn't like for people to look at him.
If you belive that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you... copy and paste this onto your profile.
(if you don't... you better watch your back... they're comng for you next.) lolzzzzzzz




_♥__♥_____♥__♥__ Put this
_♥_____♥_♥_____♥_ heart
_♥______♥______♥_ on your
__♥_____/______♥__ page if
___♥____\_____♥___ you had
____♥___/___♥____ your heart
______♥_\_♥____ broken
________♥_______