i miss the laughter, my true friends, family..
i wish i learned to lt go.
im not happy.
i wish i could have been happy.
yes... grudges hurt only yourself. money never mattered, possessions never really matter.
i'd try to begin again, on my la...
a few nights ago, minutes after i turned my light off and was almost asleep, i woke up wth a horrrible sense of angst. i was worried and had no idea why, i just couldnt figue it out... the next day i found out my friend almost died in a car wreck ...
to have tangible pain, emotional pain is painful, yes, but it makes me soo mad tht i suffer over smtg thts not even at my grasp. cutting at least is a way to put the emotional pain, the invisible pain in the backburner && have a real tangible reas...
i have thought about it too often... i still do. i know its not the best solution, thought it may seem like it sometimes....
in the end though i know im too attached to this world, tht or im too gutless && i know i wont go thru with it...
been thru so much tht seems insignificant.
my mortal soul cant seem to be takin it well.... im looking a a vampire to do this mortal a favor && take the pain away.
Favourite Music/Books/Movies:
anything! i listen to mcr, a7x, tbs, tvbs, pramore, flyleaf..... everything
hey estela...do you know you can be or do anything you want....a little more than a year ago me and my boyfriend brokeup...we'd known each other since i was 14yrs old but we did'nt physically meet until i was almost 15yrs..by then we knew everything about each otha..we txt for hrs and hrs..we were on the same wavelength. I ran away from home and he also ran away so we could be together...we spent 4 wonderful days together..until the police found me and dragged me back home...it was really uncanny now that i think about it...we did'nt need to say anything to each otha..he cud read what i was thinking and i cud do the same as well..he came to live in my town..life was gud for bout 9 mnths..2 wks b4 my 16th burfdae he took off...omg i missed him sooo much..afta bout 2 mnths...i cud'nt stand it anymore i made a wish...i found a dandelion..you no the one's with fluffy seedballs and when you blow on it, it floats away in the wind...i blew on it and wished that he'd come back to me...that same nite he txt sayin how he was sorri blah blah blah..and he wanted to come back into my life again...i can't say everythings been a bed of roses but my point is if you wish hard enuff your your dreams and wishes can become reality....have a Good Day.