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I Used to Scold Him For Wanting Perfection and Beauty

I used to scold him for wanting something perfect
For wanting a beauty unknown and yet living
And what has become of me from then?
Most of the time, I am sadness, constant and endless disappointment
But sometimes, I am driven mad, thinking of the "perfect" feeling
The one I can never have, but want, die inside for
I yearn this unspeakable, I squirm under it's influence
I see perfection... and I see beauty in it's sparse existence
I see it and want it... envy that which has it... need it
I breathe in the scent and try to follow... it haunts me
I daydream of my lover and when it goes black, I know I sleep
I wake confused at what had washed over me, wishing to dig into my flesh to stop the desire...
I scolded him for desire... I have chastised him for lust
And what am I now? Answerless lust, aching with no resolve in me
And I read it later... it gave me something to grasp...
I might have gotten a slighted understanding of what it was
It's the constant need that feeds on us, maybe only us...
I need his soul to quench it... I need his blood to soothe it...
I need his flesh to smother it until it rises more dastardly
And it always does... Does it through incarnations...
It grows stronger, deeper, and it wants him... But he's mine
Who is this that challenges me for my pet? His soul belongs to me
His heart, his life are all mine... And who are you to gawk at this?
What permission have you to sneer at me as I take doses of his spirit?
You too have your addiction, but I own the drug
I have found the perfect need... it's immobilizing...
I have found the beauty of it's torment... And to think...
I once scolded him for searching this... Now it tears at my being
And I search too for the elixir... As he sees it in me
I can see it in him... I bare my teeth to this and only for this...
Madness... Come exposed to me, Love... They are watching...
Let us proceed... Let me have you... Endlessly

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